(C221) 

Hi, I have a pathetic story to tell. I have a beautiful 11 year old boy who is ashamed of me because I smoke. 2 weeks ago I tried to quit on patches and only lasted 2.5 days. I felt such a failure and so ashamed of myself. 

Now I am trying Zyban and I'm on day 5 and I gave in after only 10 hours. Today I felt sick, nauseous and disorientated…I was actually in a state of Rotational Vertigo. And had a feeling of falling all day. I think the only way I will beat this is watching and reading web pages like this. I will do so from now on and I hope “I will win” So I can see my boy when he finds the love of his life and wants to tell me all about it. And I can be there for him when he needs me and not the other way round….!!! I would hate that. Cheers Jos

(C303)

My husband and I were high school sweethearts. My husband had a best friend, we'll call him "Dick". Dick searched and searched for the"girl" of his dreams". One day Dick met "Michelle" who was a vivacious, beautiful, talented person. They married after  Dick graduated from medical school as a neurologist and Michele had become a nurse. They had two sons. The family was very close. Michelle had one albatross that she could not shake- she smoked. They tried everything to help her quit. She changed to "light" cigarettes because the ads said that those cigarettes has less nicotine/tar, etc. They even tried hypnosis. Nothing worked.

Michelle had her last cigarette prior to walking down the aisle at her youngest son's wedding. She removed her oxygen mask and moved the tank away from her. She turned to her mother and said "Mom, get me a cigarette, please!"  Her mother unwillingly did as her daughter asked. Three weeks later Michelle died. She never knew her granddaughter's name or held her in her arms. Two years later, Dick died because he missed the "girl of his dreams".
Hope you can use this story somewhere; I am sure there are many like this one.
Sincerely, Patricia 10-26-04

(C341)

Hi.This is Paolo. I'm Italian,19 years old.. I smoke a packett of cigarette
every day, since I'm 15. I'm very disgusted by the photos of cancers on my
school-books of biology etc., but i can't stop to smoke.. and I'd really
like to stop..
Well, I probably guess that I'm not able to stop because I can't see myself
without a cigarette (for example when I'm hanging around with my friends
etc)... When I find myself in a group of people, if I dont' smoke a
cigarette I don't know what to do... I'm bored, you know...?
But, at the same time, when I'm home alone I need to smoke a cigarette at
least..
Personally I don't like to smoke when my parents are present...I walk out of
my house, after saying "Excuse me, just a moment!"
I wanna stop myself, I tried to stop...and I started to eat so much, just
because I wanted to have something in my blood... a complete insuccess...

(C231)

I have read with great interest your stories and your essays that have been posted on the Internet. I need your help...

I started, like most of us smokers, smoking in college to fit in with the in-crowd because I thought it made me look cool and it made me strong.  I smoked through 3 years of college, 1 year of graduate school, and then three more years.  Then I met a truly wonderful woman who was an aerobics instructor.  In falling in love with her, she got me to fall in love with running as well.  Cold turkey, I quit and began running, running every day until only a year later I ran the Marathon in 3:17 (1994).  I had quit and kicked the habit, never needing a cigarette again, even through the trials and tribulations of planning a marriage (to the same wonderful woman), getting transferred to another state, starting a new job, buying a house for the first time, all within 6 months.

For 7 years I remained smoke free, never giving it a second thought.  Always ran, running anywhere between 1,200 and 1,700 miles a year. So it should surprise the hell out of everyone that I started smoking again a year ago.  No reason, no cause, just bingo, and there I was, cigarette in my hand, ash-tray in the garage. But don't get me wrong, I still run, every day, 5-8 miles a day.  I notice no ill effects, like an idiot.  I smoke a pack a day.

Now the upside to the story... On Sunday, again for really no reason whatsoever, I quit.  Cold turkey, and now it's been 47 hours, 32 minutes. No cigarettes, no patch, no gum, nothing.  However, this time, it's nearly killing me.  The craving is driving me up the wall... it's as if I'm almost looking for a reason to stop at the gas station and get a pack.

I'm asking, nay, begging for help... my friends and wife are wonderful for support, however, it doesn't repress the urge to light up.  How soon till this gets easier??!?!    SR

Dear SR, We have don't have easy answers here. You already know you are
dealing with a highly addictive nerve poison who's sole purpose is to control and destroy your life.